A modern old-fashioned gentleman

Thank you, Tom Ford. Finally someone respectable, successful, and truly debonair is teaching men how to act like a gentleman in today's world. What happened to taking off your ball cap when singing the national anthem? What happened to pulling out a lady's chair or opening up the door for her? And do men ever wear suits (besides for work) anymore?

There's a certain amount of class and breeding associated with well-mannered gentlemen. No movie star of the modern era can ever hold a candle to the legends that were Cary Grant, Jimmie Stewart, Humphrey Bogart, and Gregory Peck. They abided by a golden standard of behavior that radiates an aura of class and dignity. And with impeccable manners, they reached a level of attractiveness that good looks (even Brad Pitt level good looks) can never achieve on their own.

Luckily, Tom Ford is bringing "class" back.

Tom Ford

Tom Ford – fashion powerhouse, film mogul and old school romantic – is the cover star of the spring/summer 2011 issue of Another Man. AnOther presents Tom Ford's five easy lessons in how to be a modern gentleman, taken from Jefferson Hack's intimate conversation which appears in full in the issue.

1. You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.

2. A gentleman today has to work. People who do not work are so boring and are usually bored. You have to be passionate, you have to be engaged and you have to be contributing to the world.

3. Manners are very important and actually knowing when things are appropriate. I always open doors for women, I carry their coat, I make sure that they're walking on the inside of the street. Stand up when people arrive at and leave the dinner table.

4. Don't be pretentious or racist or sexist or judge people by their background.

5. A man should never wear shorts in the city. Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate. Shorts should only be worn on the tennis court or on the beach.

My Three Alter Egos

There are three women who've really made an impression on me. They don't inspire me in a First Lady or Finding the Cure for Cancer type of way. I just really adore their style. Or they have a certain mystique that I dream of possessing. Or something about them intrigues me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I could acquire a combination of certain traits from the following three women, I'd do really well at parties.

1. Edie Sedgwick

The definition of hot mess and Andy Warhol's signature muse. She had an affair with Bob Dylan. "Like a Rolling Stone" is believed to be about her. Not that that's a good thing, but it's pretty cool that she inspired one of Dylan's biggest masterpieces. She was beautiful with awesome style. Factory Girl is one of my all-time favorite movies. I choose not to dwell on the fact that she became a completely drugged-out mess who ended up in a mental hospital.

2. Brigitte Bardot

The epitome of mysterious sex kitten with perfect hair at all times. She doesn't even need to say anything, she's that intriguing. I would love to look like young Bardot. Seriously, who knows how do my hair like that?

3. Holly Golightly

Yes, I know that this is Audrey Hepburn. But, who I adore is not the actress herself, but the character Holly Golightly as portrayed by her. Her attitude and personality is just so refreshing. She says the most hilarious yet truthful and blunt things. Plus she plays a mean "Moon River" on guitar. One of her mottos: "I'll never get used to anything. Anybody that does, they might as well be dead"


I think I just figured out my Halloween costumes for the next three years!

30 things to do when I'm 30

It's November 1st and I'm suddenly reminded that I am *gasp* turning 30 years old this month!! Since we all know that your twenties are just an extension of adolescence full of frat parties and clubbing, I feel like I'm finally actually entering real adulthood now. So, in honor of this milestone, I have compiled a list of adult, and not-so-adult, things to do this year:


30 Things To Do When I'm 30

1. Buy a Dog - Seriously. Soon.

2. Find the Perfect Sunglasses -  Why can't I find just one decent pair of sunglasses that make me look like a cool movie star?

3. Accumulate Cool Kitchen Appliances - I already have a cute fruit-shaped fondue set

4. Eat at Celebrity Chefs' Restaurants - Bobby Flay and Wolfgang Puck, I'm looking at you

5. Bake Challah for Shabbos - Braided and all

6. Wear a Costume - Go out for the night in a costume for no reason at all. It doesn't have to be the end of October to party like a pirate hooker!

7. Slow Dance at a Restaurant -  I want to go on a date to one of those classy restaurants where you get dressed up and they have a dance floor and play standard slow songs. Dancing to Frank Sinatra while waiting for dinner is very romantic.

8. Participate in a Flash Mob - Choreographed dance to "Don't Stop Believin'" in the middle of the mall? Why yes, that sounds like fun!

9. Take Vampires Back  - Sorry Twilight and Vampire Diaries and half of True Blood (though I really enjoy True Blood so I'll let the fact that Eric is so damn sexy and wears tracksuits slide this time), vampires are scary monsters not sexy Hollister models! I refuse to participate in this mass delusion any longer. Back to Nosferatu, Dracula, and Fright Night -- those vamps will eat Edward for dinner.

10. Wine and Cheese Parties - "They probably sit around on the floor with wine and cheese, and mispronounce allegorical and didacticism." They're probably thirty.

11. Drink Tea - I hate the taste of all teas. I've tried regular, iced, lemon, mint, chamomile, etc. I don't like it. But, I will force myself to acquire a taste for green tea. The stuff is just too healthy.

12. Wear My Hair Down More Often - It's just prettier that way

13. Buy a Hammock - Laying in a hammock is the perfect way to spend a beautiful day

14. Grow a Herb Garden - Fresh basil, dill, and mint on hand at all times

15. Sail to the Bahamas - Literally. Trip to Bimini on the open seas. S and the A team have promised me this for a while now so I'm gonna hold them to it!

16. Disney World - I only live 2 hours away and haven't been there in years. What better way to stay youthful while celebrating your entrance into serious adulthood?

17. New York City - Just cause I really need to visit New York every year. Cause I love it there.

18. Donate my Clothes - For years I've been accumulating clothes in my closet that I'm never going to wear again. I'm moving soon and my clothes are moving to goodwill.

19. Stay in Touch - The older you get, the harder it is to find really good new friends that you connect with. I'm going to make a really big effort to stay in better touch with high school and college friends. After all, no one will be there for you like the people who have seen you through all your adolescent mistakes

20. Dance like Britney Spears - I will learn how to do the dances from her music videos. The choreography is awesome! So much better than singing into a hairbrush

21. Get Over My Fear of Clowns - I hate you, Pennywise

22. Watch a Scary Movie By Myself Before I Go To Sleep - I love scary movies. I hate watching them by myself late at night. I will conquer this challenge. But not while watching "The Exorcist." That movie is my kryptonite.

23. Play My Piano - I took piano lessons for many years but stopped practicing and playing since college because my piano is at my mom's house. I got a new keyboard last year. I think it's time to find my old sheet music.

24. Candid Photographs - I love taking pictures. I'm like the paparazzi when it comes to a night out with my friends. But, I think I'm gonna start mainly just taking candid shots. There's something special about capturing those real moments instead of posed smiles.

25. Learn to Surf - Yeah, yeah, I know.. I say this every year.

26. Horse-Drawn Carriage Ride - Just like those carriage rides around Central Park. I've always wanted to do that. There must be somewhere down in South Florida where I can do that on a chilly winter night.

27. Learn Mom's Recipes - I love cooking and over the past couple of years, I've really started collecting a bunch of my own recipes and perfecting many dishes. But, I really need to master my mom's chicken soup, spinach casserole, broccoli pasta, etc. Childhood home-cooked meals were the best!

28. Stop Being Jealous of People Named Casey - My last name is Stengel. How cool would it have been if my parents named me Casey!  Casey Stengel? Why yes, that's me, and yes, I am in the Baseball Hall of Fame. But no, I can't say that. You know who got the name instead? The family dog

29. Convert my Friends into Country Music Fans - Sunny days on the boat, drinking beer, and jumping in the water needs some Kenny Chesney, not Lady Gaga, in the background.

30. Rock my Cowboy Boots - I wear them every year for the Kiss Chili Cook-Off and they're perfect for tailgating at the next Tim McGraw concert. But I'm gonna put them to more use and pull of the Southern cowgirl look for a normal day out.

Photography Spirituality Family

Timing is everything. As is often said, you find things or they find you as needed. How fitting then, that just as I begin to make changes in my own life, Eat Pray Love should be in theaters. I went to the movie last night and I couldn't help but relate to the journey and feelings of the main character. As she went through her three phases of Eat Pray and Love to find her true self, I came to the realization that I have my own three elements that help me find my balance and stay true to myself - photography, spirituality, and family. Lucky for me, I don't have to buy any plane tickets ;)

PHOTOGRAPHY

I love taking pictures. My friends jokingly refer to me as "paparazzi." My photography habit started mainly because I am, by nature, a very sentimental person. I love having pictures of people, places, and things that made me happy. I love memories and I love capturing special moments. Because, as we all know, nothing lasts forever but looking at a picture can instantly bring back the feeling of that time, place, and who you were then.

However, lately photography has begun to mean even more to me. Instead of using it just to capture my own memories, I use it to capture the beauty I see in the world. By focusing on taking pictures of breathtaking scenes in nature, I have been put in a state of awe as to the wonder of it all. From the smallest flower blossoming through a crack in concrete to a dolphin jumping out of the water to a magnificent sunset overlooking the horizon, photographing nature is a reminder of how truly small one person is in the grand scheme of things. It removes feelings of egoism because you realize how truly small you are. The world is gigantic, full of an unimaginable array of life, and truly awe-inspiring. That being said, you also realize that everything is connected. Each living thing, including you, is one piece of the puzzle - a gigantic gazillion-piece puzzle - that needs every single piece to be complete. Once you realize that, you take comfort in being a part of this great, big, wonderful world and you are filled with gratitude for being part of something so much greater than yourself.

One more thing, to everyone who gets annoyed when someone wants to take picture of you, remember this: It is a compliment. A photo says, "You were so important to me that I put down everything else to come watch."

SPIRITUALITY

I believe in G-d. My faith has never wavered. My connection and observance of my faith.. well, that's a different story. Make no mistake, I have no doubt that what I believe is true. But for some reason, I've been having real difficulty putting my thoughts into actions. This can't be good for the soul because it's trapped in your body and they're at odds. Without going into too much detail on this particular subject, I will say that once again, timing is everything. How fitting is it that I am reevaluating my life when Rosh Hashannah is right around the corner. I plan on taking full advantage of the High Holidays by reevaluating myself and allowing my soul to guide my actions. After all, "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."

FAMILY

The one thing in life we have absolutely no control over is our family. What makes that so comforting though, is that you know, that since you had no control over it, you were born into the exact family you were meant to be a part of (no matter how crazy they seem to be). When all is said and done, family is all you got. They are the ones who love you unconditionally. My family is my backbone. Because of them, I have been able to fall and pick myself back up again, time after time. As you go through life, you need other people to share it with - people who are loyal and love you. There's no greater love than that of family.

And don't get me wrong, family is not just limited to blood. I am so blessed to have a few friends that I have been close with for as long as I can remember. We have seen each other through everything, all the ups and downs of growing up. We've all made mistakes and we've always forgiven each other. We always will. We're are a secondary family. We truly do love each other. We understand each other. We're sisters and brothers with different parents. And that's family.

Remember this, "You go through life alone. But you'll have many visitors. Some are long-term. Most aren't." Those long-termers... hold on close to those and realize you're blessed to have them!