Apparently monsters shop at Abercrombie and Fitch

When I was growing up, I loved scary movies. And my favorite creature of all was the vampire. Now, let's get one thing straight -- I'm not talking about sparkly vampires with perfectly tousled hair that glitter in sunlight and prance around in fields falling in love with stupid, boring, clumsy humans. I liked vampires when they were actual scary monsters (which if I recall correctly, are what they were supposed to be in the first place). Back in the day, when you saw vampires you weren't attracted to them and certainly didn't want them to bite you. In fact, they were scary and you would run away screaming if you saw one!  But of course, like everything else that somehow has gotten twisted in today's society, vampires have taken on a whole new identity. Now they are sexy creatures that humans want to sleep with (and who, in turn, actually develop feelings for humans instead of wanting to kill them).

Vampire from the 80's (from the classic movie Fright Night):

Vampire from the 00's (from the insanely popular Twilight series):

Vampires were created to be scary, corpse-like monsters but have been somehow morphed into sexy, attractive human-like teenage boys in today's society. Today's "monsters" look like they belong in GQ magazine. Which brings me to my current conundrum: What the hell happened to Halloween?

Halloween = Scary. Right? Weren't classic Halloween costumes traditionally scary vampires, creepy witches, ghosts, zombies, etc.? Weren't skeletons, bats, and spiderwebs the traditional decor? So why are the most popular costumes this year turning out to be Lady Gaga and Snooki? Since when did Halloween become a holiday celebrating slutty outfits and troubled celebrities?

Maybe I'm just bitter because my love for vampires has been interpreted as some teeny-bopper bandwagon infatuation with all things Twilight. So let's just get one thing straight: I liked vampires before most Twilight fans were even born. I liked vampires when they were actually scary creatures that you were afraid of. Halloween is supposed to be a scary holiday, not a chance for you to go out in the town in your skimpiest lingerie. Even on Halloween, wearing only a bra, panties, and hooker boots will still make you look like trash. Society is creating these wimpy, sex-crazed teenagers with no traditions who will undoubtedly grow up into wimpy, sex-crazed adults with no traditions. Which when you think of it, is actually kind of scary after all.

30 used to be old

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about "growing up." When I was younger, I thought 30 was so old!!  I couldn't fathom that a person in their thirties still knew the names of singers on the top 40 charts and stayed up past 8:00. Actually, I remember when I thought that a guy over 25 is way too old for me to date. Note: Under 25 is now, for the most part, unacceptable for me to date unless he is way too smart and mature for his age, already a professional with a good career, comes from a wonderful family and has the mentality of a 35 year-old. But I digress...

Not there yet, but in a month and a half, I'll be turning 30 years old!! And to give a little credit to my younger, more naive self, 30 did used to be considered a somewhat "older" age. For example, it was the age by which girls were traditionally expected to be married with at least one kid on the way. Luckily in today's time, 30 really is the new 20.  Thirty-somethings are still partying singles, going back to school, and enjoying crazy late nights out. Actually, as I'm approaching this milestone, I'm realizing that the quality of life you enjoy in your 30's may actually surpass that of your 20-something former self.

I'm more grounded, more financially stable/independent, and kind of "have my shit together."  Plus, I've already gone through the wild, irresponsible phase of life so I can consider many of life's unbearably painful lessons already learned. Well, for the most part anyway... lessons sometimes get re-learned after a night of too many lemon drops.

Why I should look forward to my *gasp* Thirties:

1) Men -- That's right, once your guy friends, boyfriend, and new guys you meet/date are already in their thirties, you can start calling them "men" instead of "boys". Sure, guys never really outgrow laughing at fart jokes and looking at porn. But at least they now do it in private and don't bring it up at the dinner table.

 Boys in their 20's:                   

Men in their 30's:

                   
2) Friends -- By the time you reach your thirties you have probably made and lost quite a few friendships. You've befriended the partier, the debby-downer, the good influence, the bad influence, etc.  But by now, you friendship circle begins to dwindle. People grow, people change, and people invariably drift apart. So now you're left with your core. The people who are still your friends when you hit 30 are probably there for the long haul. You've seen each other through so many ups and downs. You've celebrated each other, fought with each other, yelled at each other, laughed with each other. If you were to ruin these friendships, there's a good chance it probably would already have happened. If a friendship survives the drunken, immature, debauchery of the twenties and comes out intact, it's probably there for life. You can rely on these ones cause they've already seen you at your lowest and stuck around. Don't get me wrong, it's never too late to make new lifelong friends. But it's good to know you have those few bests in your back pocket.

Friends in your 20's:

 

Friends in your 30's:

(Disclaimer: Of course you still party with your friends in your thirties. The pictures represent the foundation of the friendships)

3) Family -- Congratulations! You've been promoted to the adult table at holiday dinner!  Who knew your parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents had personalities??  In your thirties, you're taken seriously enough to be viewed as a real adult and you're let into this world you didn't know existed. Your relatives really become your friends. You get to have a drink with your uncle, spend a night out with your mom. As much as you loved your family before, you get to love them on a whole new level. You love them not only for what they are (mom, grandmother, uncle, aunt, etc.) but for WHO they really are as people. It's awesome!!

4) Life -- You have a job, you have a paycheck, you live on your own, you don't need to ask permission to do anything. You are independent. YAY!!

So here's to the thirties!!! May it be as fun as the twenties, but with less regrets and more awesomeness!! 

(If awesomeness is not a word, it should be)

Happy 9-02-10

Long before Edward vs. Jacob. Long before Finn vs. Puck. Long before Bill vs. Eric. There was...

Dylan McKay vs. Brandon Walsh

If you were a teenage girl in the 90's, Beverly Hills 90210 rocked your world. You wanted to be one of the girls.. Brenda, Kelly, or Donna (or Andrea.. but probably not). And you adored one of the boys.. Brandon or Dylan (or Steve or David Silver.. but probably not).

Brandon Walsh and Dylan McKay. They went to the same high school, had the same friends, both rocked the long sideburns, both wore their hair in the same retro pompadour hairstyle. Yet, there was a clear line drawn. You were either Team Brandon or Team Dylan.

Personally, I was a Dylan girl. It didn't really make sense. Being raised in my family, in my neighborhood, Brandon should have been a shoo-in for the win. After all, he was smart, he had morals, he came from a great, loving family, etc. He was a "Good Guy". And not the good guy with a "good personality" ugly type. He was a really good-looking, going to be successful, best all-around, type of "good guy."

And I did like Brandon... until the moment Dylan McKay showed up on his motorcycle.

"Mad, bad, and dangerous to know," is how Dylan described himself. And he was dead on. He was the rebel, the bad-boy, the guy from a broken home with alcohol and gambling problems who was not nearly as smart as Brandon. He was too cool to care.  Yet somehow, everyone cared. Along with half the viewing audience, both of the lead female characters fell in love with him. He got both girls -- the brunette and the blonde. Brenda AND Kelly.

The Brandon vs. Dylan debate really is much deeper than whether or not Luke Perry or Jason Priestly had better sideburns. It reveals a fundamental truth about girls.You are either hardwired to be drawn to the bad boy or not. Everyone knew you should choose Brandon. It was more an issue of whether or not you could resist Dylan. I don't know whether it's because I had such a sheltered upbringing that I was intrigued by a rougher, rebellious side of life, but I was instantly drawn in by Dylan. And, to be honest, the "bad boy" still attracts me today.

Looking back, I think I even had a whole relationship based on the fact that some guy, who shall remain nameless, completely embodied this Dylan McKay stereotype and I couldn't resist him. He was handsome in that rugged, brooding, James Dean/Luke Perry kind of way. He was reckless and rebellious. He didn't care what anyone thought (sometimes that included me as well). But, he had this way of smiling at you which just made you melt. And he gave you that feeling (just like Dylan) that he just needed some nuturing. That he was this bad boy because he's been hurt and he had abandonment issues and all he needed was love.

However, I've grown up and matured and the "bad boy" I'm attracted to now isn't a true bad boy. Trust me, an alcohol and gambling addiction will send me running for the hills. If you're too cool to care, I won't waste my time caring about you. But, the bad-boy appearance is still irresistible. I still want the excitement of a rebellious nature, the guy who can stick up for me, the guy who doesn't care what others think or say about him, and yes, looking like Luke Perry doesn't hurt either. But, I want my bad boy to be smart and successful. I want him to care and love. I want to know that if I go on a trip to Paris for a summer, he won't start dating my best friend while I'm gone (I'm looking at you, Kelly Taylor). I believe in the best of both worlds -- a Brandon heart on a Dylan motorcycle.

Guess I can be a MasterChef, too

Even after promising myself I wouldn't start watching new show, I'm fully into MasterChef. Basically, I had no choice since I adore Gordon Ramsay. Since discovering him during the first season of Hell's Kitchen, I've watched all his shows -- all seasons of Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and now, MasterChef. MasterChef is a reality competition show in which amateur cooks compete against each other for the title of, what else, "MasterChef." What makes this show different is that these contestants are real amateurs. They have occupations that do not involve the food industry (except for two servers). They cook for fun, for their families, etc.

They have real skill in the kitchen. There are many disappointments in each episode (after all, they aren't professionals) but there are also a few of them that could be competing on Top Chef or Hell's Kitchen. However, last night was just ridiculous. During last night's episode, I had a revelation... I could be a MasterChef too.

They had an elimination game in which the contestants had to identify foods based on sight, touch, and smell. They couldn't taste them. They had 25 ingredients to identify. The highest number identified was 11. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  I could identify at least 15-20 just from seeing them on TV. Just some examples: Golden Raisins, Nectarines, Butternut Squash, Catfish, Papaya, Salmon, Filet Mignon, Rosemary, Starfruit, Blue Cheese, Brie, Rhubarb, and Black-Eyed Peas.  Yes, there were about 5 or so ingredients that seemed foreign to me. But, for the most part, anyone who visits a supermarket, let alone is vying to be a masterchef, should be able to identify the majority of them. The guy who lost, couldn't identify starfruit. No, really. He couldn't name starfruit.

WHAT? I should be on that show. I could lose every cooking competition and still avoid elimination against these people. Actually, based on their cupcake challenge, I probably wouldn't lose every cooking competition. Plus, as a bonus, I could meet Cat Cora! Yes, she was the guest chef last night.. lucky amateur horrible chefs!

It's called a Killer Whale, people

Oh, Shamu!

As a child, I would go with my family to places like the Miami Seaquarium and watch all the live human-animal interaction shows. Trainers were swimming with dolphins, doing tricks with killer whales, playing with sea lions, etc. These shows fascinated me. I loved animals, and getting to watch a woman swim with a whale evoked my own desire to interact with these creatures. Killer whales are beautiful and, as my child mind deduced from the live shows, cuddly and playful. Just like a puppy!  But, I was a child when I had these thoughts. These shows are meant to capture the emotions of children and help them develop a connection and love for animals.  And that's really important! As an animal lover, I feel its so important for children to grow up with a sense of connection to the other animals in the world. The love of animals instilled in people as children is what helps motivate them as adults to conserve and protect the environment, help living things in need, and prevent species from going extinct.

That being said, as an adult, though hopefully one's love of animals remains, one's perceptions of animals as living things should change. Adults should realize that elephants do not wear green suits and gold crowns like Babar. Instead, they are giant animals who have the power to easily trample a person if they feel the need to defend themselves. Bears do not dress up in bow-ties and cuddle in bed with us like so many of our stuffed animals did as a child. Bears can attack and kill you. It is best to stay away from them. After all, when you go camping, everyone knows to tightly pack up your food to avoid a bear encounter. You do not leave out food to attract them. And killer whales.. well, killer whales are called that for a reason. They can be trained, of course, but they also have massive teeth and more than enough strength to kill a person, intentionally or not. They are not guests for your pool party.

And so, that brings us to the attack at Sea World. In February, a trainer was attacked by an orca (that's the real name for these beautiful creatures.. wonder why they got nicknamed killer?) and unfortunately did not survive. It's sad, it's tragic, and it happens. Anybody with enough knowledge to work at Sea World, I'm sure has enough knowledge to understand that they are working with large, predatory animals. No matter how obedient and well-trained an animal is, there is always a risk involved. And when you choose to work with large, predatory, wild animals, that's a huge risk. Anyway, the government fined Sea World because it says Sea World "exposed" its employees to these animals. Here is an excerpt from the OSHA statement: 

"SeaWorld recognized the inherent risk of allowing trainers to interact with potentially dangerous animals. Nonetheless, it required its employees to work within the pool walls, on ledges and on shelves where they were subject to dangerous behavior by the animals."
 
HELLO?? Am I missing something here?  Isn't that THE JOB?  Isn't that what these trainers signed up for?  Wasn't that part of the job description?  If SeaWorld deserves to be sued, then so does the fire department. So does the military. So does Nascar. So does every national sports league. So does the police department. There is a risk with all these occupations, just to name a few. Every employee of these organizations is required to work and interact in a potentially dangerous situation, and to be subject to dangerous behavior by others. Each head of these organizations do recognize the inherent risk of these employees to perform their jobs. So, unless the government plans on fining every zoo, every theme park, every sports organization, every police department, every fire department, etc., it should really lay off Sea World.

Don't get me wrong, what happened was a tragedy. So was Dale Earnhardt's fatal crash. So is the death of every policeman, fireman, and soldier killed on the job. So why don't we sue Nascar and the government itself?  We don't because that's the job. If you sign up for a dangerous, potentially fatal job, there is always that chance of something horrible happening. But, people need to be responsible for their own choices. If you aren't willing to take the risk, don't sign up for it. And I'm sure less people get killed from working at Sea World than from any other profession I mentioned above.

Next thing you know, your heavyweight champion will be walking out of the ring with a championship belt and a subpoena. After all, he beat somebody up. And you'll all be yelling, "It's called boxing, people!"

Book Watch

"I am eternally grateful for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on."

I love to read. Books inspire me. Books relax me. Books rejuvenate me. A good book is almost as refreshing as taking an actual vacation to a faraway place. I said, "almost." ;) I've thought about buying one of those "nooks" -- those handheld devices that is kind of like an ipod, but for books -- so that I can easily take any number of books with me in my purse, and it'll be weightless and easy. But, I decided not to. I love the actual, physical book. To me, it's part of the whole experience. You have to smell the freshly printed pages, experience the turning of each page as  you advance through the story and fumble to find your place when you accidentally close the book and you haven't dog-eared the page.

From time to time, as I find precious gems of literature, I will be posting them here as a "book watch." To start, here are two of my all-time favorite books: The Little Prince and The Tao of Pooh. These are two of the wittiest and wisest books I've ever read (and I read a lot!). I've added a few quotes from each to give you a sample:


The Little Prince by: Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

"I have had, in the course of my life lots of encounters with lots of serious people. I have spent lots of time with grown-ups. I have seen them at close range.. which hasn't much improved my opinion of them."

"Grown ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: 'What does his voice sound like?' 'What games does he like best?' 'Does he collect butterflies?'. They ask: 'How old is he?' 'How many brothers does he have?' 'How much does he weigh?' 'How much money does his father make?'. Only then do they think they know him."

"If you tell grown ups, ' I saw a beautiful red brick house, with geraniums at the windows and doves on the roof..,' they won't be able to imagine such a house. You have to tell them, 'I saw a house worth a hundred thousand francs.' Then they exclaim, 'What a pretty house!'

"If I commanded a general to fly from one flower to the next like a butterfly, or to wrote a tragedy, or to turn into a seagull, and if the general did not carry out my command, which one of us would be in the wrong, the general or me?

'You would be,' said the little prince quite firmly.

'Exactly. One must command from each what each can perform,' the king went on. 'Authority is based first of all upon reason. If you command your subjects to jump into the ocean, there will be a revolution. I am entitled to command obedience because my orders are reasonable."

"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eye."


The Tao of Pooh by: Benjamin Hoff

"When you discard arrogance, complexity, and a few other things that get in the way, sooner or later you will discover that simple, childlike, and mysterious secret known to those of the Uncarved Block: Life is Fun."

"You'd be surprised how many people violate this simple principle every day of their lives and try to fit square pegs into round holes, ignoring the clear reality that Things Are As They Are."

"From the state of the Uncarved Block comes the ability to enjoy the simple and the quiet, the natural and the plain. Along with that comes the ability to do things spontaneously and have them work, odd as that may appear to others at times. As Piglet put it in Winnie-the-Pooh, "Pooh hasn't much Brain, but he never comes to any harm. He does silly things and they turn out right."

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."

"Whether many people realize it yet or not, man, the Inferior Animal, has by now proved himself incapable of keeping his own species - and others - alive for very much longer.  So the earth has begun its own plan to set things right."

"But isn't the knowledge that comes from experience more valuable than the knowledge that doesn't? It seems fairly obvious to some of us that a lot of scholars need to go outside and sniff around - walk through the grass, talk to the animals. That sort of thing."

"Now, scholars can be very useful and necessary, in their own dull and unamusing way. They provide a lot of information. It's just that there is Something More, and that Something More is what life is really all about."

New Year Resolutions

December 31 is one of the best days of the year. New Years Eve parties are my favorite. All the glitz, the festive mood in the air, the renewed sense of optimism shared by everyone. However, when it comes to making serious New Year resolutions, I leave that for Rosh Hashannah.

There is a big difference between my Rosh Hashannah resolutions and my "New Year" resolutions. First of all, if I even make a Dec. 31 New Year resolution (which I haven't done in a couple of years), it's always something pretty shallow. Go to the gym more. Eat less junk food. Save more money. You know, the usual, pretty universal self-promises. But, I make resolutions EVERY Rosh Hashannah. And these are the ones that matter. This is the time I actually self-reflect and take stock of who I've become and where I am in my life. I do a true self-study and evaluate what needs to change and what realistic changes I should start with.

I usually try and make two major resolutions. One has strictly to do with observance. Last year, it was to try to daven every day. I chose Mincha as my prayer. My other resolution is still definitely part of observance, but it follows the theme of what most would call "being a better person." These kind of resolutions fall along the lines of giving charity, not speaking ill of others, forgiveness, etc.

As Rosh Hashannah draws near, it's once again time for self-reflection. Every year I find triumphs - times when I've been gracious, kind, helpful, and giving. Of course, being only human, there have also been times of which I'm embarrassed. Times when I've gossiped, acted selfishly, didn't help others when I've had the opportunity. Unfotunately for me, those are the things that stick in my head. Every helpful moment I've had can be overshadowed in my mind by the time I had the opportunity to help others but did nothing.

So here I am, Rosh Hashannah roughly two weeks away. What are my resolutions this year? Well, my first resolution is still to daven more. Unfortunately, I let that one fall through the cracks last year. But, I learned a lesson. I can really always find half an hour a day to say some prayers. Sure, there will be some days that are just crazy. But for the most part, nothing is so important that it can't wait half an hour. Furthermore, when I say prayers, I feel so much better inside, that it allows me to enjoy the rest of my day much more than if I skip them. The half hour spent on Mincha actually doubles the meaning and enjoyment of the other 23 1/2 hours of the day.

The second and equally, if not more, important resolution centers around charity. I already try to donate money. But this year, I want to give more than that. Sure the money is necessary and important, but I want to get more involved on a volunteer level as well. Donating time and energy is crucial to the success of so many causes. Personally, I tend to donate money to human charities. Mostly helping poor people or contributing to disease research. This year, I want to take it one step further and use my time to physically volunteer for a cause. But for this part, I'm going to focus on animals. As human beings, we have an added responsibility in the world. We must help care for all living things. So I joined No Paws Left Behind and I'm looking into other local animal rescue organizations to see where I can be most helpful.

Wish me luck on these endeavors! May we all have a Shana Tova U'Metukah!